


Sequence Breaking

by spanglyspace



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, No Mercy Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:24:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5212658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spanglyspace/pseuds/spanglyspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thing the human tries after they leave the ruins is attempt to kill Sans. </p>
<p>It's not as easy as they'd expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sequence Breaking

Sans watches the human exit the ruins, and they don't even look around when they do it. There's no curious glancing about or hard determination in their eyes—they just trudge mechanically along the icy path stretching in front of them as if they've done it a million times (twice) before. 

But hey, maybe they haven't. That doesn't stop him from noting that they hop over the branch without stopping, and that they don't falter when he purposely snaps it either. 

Still, it might just be that they don't care. It might be that they've got good peripheral vision. He’s not really one to judge. 

Not yet, at least. 

Their shoulders are lax as he steps up behind them (despite how obviously loud he’s stomping), but he calls for them to shake his hand anyway. 

And the human slashes a plastic knife aimed right at his chest so fast and suddenly that it manages to rip into his sleeve as he steps to the side. 

"woah," he says, feeling some genuine surprise creep into his voice as he fingers at the brand new tear in his clothing. It's not too deep, and he can fix it if he tries, but he doesn't like that the tear is real at all. _Maybe_ they're just jumpy, and _maybe_ it was an accident, but _maybe_ they're a cold-blooded killer (they’re covered in dust and holding a knife and it reminds him of a battle in a long hallway). 

But only _maybe_. 

And because it is only _maybe_ , and because he made a promise to the nice lady behind the door, he elects to hold off the Gaster Blasters for now. 

"did i scare ya?" he asks instead. 

Of course, their probable answer is going to be "no" for a wide variety of reasons, but it doesn't hurt to pose a question. 

Well, it shouldn't hurt to pose a question that is, but they lurch forward and try to go at him with the knife anyway. 

He steps out of their range. "careful with that thing, kid. you could hit someone." 

Another slash. More evading. 

"we, uh, don’t really need to—” They try cutting at him once more and miss. 

"welp." Sans sidesteps and removes a hand from his pocket to raise it high over his head. "i didn't want to do things this way, but you’ve left me no choice. 

“here we go." 

Sans turns their soul blue and gravity intensifies around them. 

___ 

There’s a dry whoosh of air instead of the telltale sound of magic bones rising, and the human’s eyes widen slightly in panic for a second as they whip their head around, hoping to find the “attack pattern”. 

Sans laughs—a choked out chuckle that feels forced out, like he’s saying “heh” instead of actually letting loose—at their apparent plight before he shoots them a wink as he retreats from the battle. 

“what’s what that expression?” he asks, once they’re situated (safely) back in the overworld. “you weren't gonna shake my hand, and i couldn't just waste a good prop like that. even if it’s never going tibias great as the ALWAYS funny whoopee cushion in the hand gag.” 

He stops talking to give them a chance to react, waiting for the inevitable cringing or laughter or what have you when they realize that what he threw at them was just a bad joke for a good laugh, and… they don’t do any of those things? Or any other things? Their face is completely flat. Maybe they just didn’t get it. Not everyone appreciates his refined sense of humour. Should he cue them in or…? 

Wait. 

“you look like you really want something to happen,” Sans notes. “is it a fight?” They _did_ attack him after all, and there are a few timelines where that’s all that they want. Where the sole reason they commit mass murder is to get in a good battle with him or Undyne. If that’s all they want this time, then maybe he could— 

Their face twitches. 

“...guess not.” 

A person who wants a fight wouldn’t try such dirty tactics to get rid of him after all. 

“no, **you want me d e a d.** ” He lets his voice drop and lose its lazy drawl as the glowing in his sockets fades to nothing. 

Their surprise is all he needs to keep the ball rolling, his voice becoming slack once more. “i hit the nail right on the head, didn’t i? i was giving you a really bad time, and you didn’t have enough determination to take me down, so you tried an ambush. guess i threw a real wrench into your plan.” He shrugs. “i’d say i’m sorry, but i’m really not.” 

The human grimaces. 

“kid, here’s some good advice for you… QUIT while you’re ahead. you wanna know what comes after the fight with me? really? well, i’ll tell you this much: it isn’t worth it.” Arguably, everything they have to do in order to get the fight with him in the first place isn’t worth it either, but he’s not gonna say that. Best to apply to their interests. …Whatever they are. 

There’s a terse silence. 

Sans sighs. “look, you want an ‘ending’, right? you don’t care what you have to do in order to get it. you just want to see it because you can. but here’s the thing… your ‘ending’ will probably just be black nothing with no way to fix it. you’ll walk through a door, then… zip. nada. nothing. no more underground. no more you. everything just ends. guess it’s the only actual ending, huh?” 

They’re not even looking at him. 

That’s fine, he supposes. It wasn’t like it was an actual joke anyway. 

“you don’t wanna do something you’ll end up regretting. so.” He stretches out an arm for a handshake for the second time. “whaddya say? wanna go back on all that before it really starts? be a pal?” 

The human blinks at him, clutching the plastic knife in their hands like it's a lifeline. They’re shaking. 

If Sans had eyebrows, he’d be raising one. “i gotcha before, didn’t i?” They don’t move, but recognition flashes in their eyes. 

“eh.” He waves his other arm as if shooing the idea away (and just barely catches them flinching). “don’t worry about it. that was then, and this is now,“ he says. “and right now, i’d really like for you to shake my hand.” 

They hesitate for a moment as their gaze wanders from their knife to his hand. 

They bite their lip. 

And then they accept his mercy 

PPPPHHHHHBBBTTTT. 

Their face goes sour when they hear the whoopee cushion, but Sans laughs. “told you. ALWAYS funny. 

“anyway,” he continues, “i really wouldn’t wanna go back on that promise i made, so keep on the straight and narrow. you wouldn’t want another **bad time** , would you?” 

They shake their head so fast that dust comes off them in little puffs. 

He shouldn’t have to threaten them so that they don’t kill anyone, because that’s _really messed up what the hell is wrong with them_ , but he says, “nice choice,” and ruffles their hair to lighten the mood. They giggle in response, shoving his hands off their head with a weak push. 

Maybe he salvaged them. Maybe they’ll be a good person, now that they’re trying. 

They then pull an ancient-looking cellphone from out of their pocket and punch in a number before he’s able to continue speaking. 

The phone rings exactly once before someone picks it up. 

“HELLO?” Papyrus’ voice blares from the speakers. “WHO IS THIS?” 

Sans sputters for words. 

Okay. 

This is gonna be a weird run.

**Author's Note:**

> frisk, stop cheating


End file.
